Old School Jackassery

July 20 and 21 - 2002

Fires on the mountain - Bunyip attacks and the search for the legendary scrotadillo lopez

Shaft, beginnings are delicate things...
Shut the hell up, Jason and get in the car...
Getting fuel. Or as Shaft put it, "What is this country coming to when someone would pass up a Bun Boy?!"
"STOP!!!! STOOOP!!!!!!"
Shaft, worrying that his car is gonna get "scratches" we all STOP
Fuzzy elaborates on his intimate life as a child. Rico regrets asking the question in the first place.

"To walking?"

"To walking..."

Jason draws short straw and gets to carry all the beer...and fuel, my camera gear, one small chair, the bread maker and Stu's little dolly named "Ass Tart"
Preparing for the 15 mile hike. Though you can't tell from the photo it is 100 degrees. It was 9PM.

Mile 26 and we find a sign that God loves each of us, even Shaft...and that in spite of the fact that Shaft wrote that video skit mocking Him to His face...Either that or this was that spot where that drunken hiker swerved off the path and was killed and this was placed here by his family as a reminder...and a warning.

Mile 28 and we realize that this is all really fucking stupid.
Still stupid.
Having realized that the crater was actually only a half mile away we turned around, fed Jason and immediately started to destroy everything.
In the midst of Rico recording the delicate and lilting barks of the rare Desert Bunyip, Tano hits it with a Napalm Stick.
Killing Desert Bunyips with a can of Spray Fire ™ These little vicious bastards were everywhere this year. They go for the soft tendons...and they're fast
Bunyip 26...
Rico records the sound of Shady standing on a hillside for national radio. arrives...along with the color film.
47... bad Bunyip
"Has anyone seen Ass Tart?"
Heroin has ruined more good burns than I can count.
Most people use things like logs for camp fires, but we have found that cans of starter fluid give off more heat.

Fuzzy sets off aerial flares continuously for an hour. We realize then we are completely screwed if we actually ended up needing help...cause no one ever came to check it out.
Shaft finds the Nest...
Shaft takes time out for prayer. Rico waits for lightning.
Our new favorite firework...
..."Rave in the hole...!"

Me with the Fire Swords...which I subsequently fried my thumb on during the Gigsville Shakedown.

© 2002 SHAFT esq. Industries.

There is no adequate way to explain the context of this photo, so I won't bother. We'll just blame it on Holly.

Jason gloats.

Shaft feels shame.

No caption is really necessary. This is Shaft...This IS Shaft...
Stu accidentally opens up a portal to Hell. We tell him to stop it.
Having run out of food, Rico sucks on his microphone just before dawn.
Awaiting the approach of the Evil Star
Disgusted at our inability to express anything of value, Rico shuts off his recorder and curses our pedantic existence. Jason scans the predawn desert for lost women.
Milling. This is us milling.
Yep, 2002....
...gonna be a great year for golf

An Amboy tradition.
Soaking pummice stone in gasoline, lighting it on fire and hurling it over the crater the hopes that some distant spectator would think that the volcano had suddenly become active...
Fire On The Mountain

"It's a new beginning, isn't it Tano?" "Yes, Jason it is..."


"OK, let's get the hell out of here."

View from the East Ridge
5:30AM Escaping from the Evil Star

We pack to get the hell out of here. In exactly one hour it will be 100 degrees.
I'm NOT kidding....
Well, we won't be needing these...
Has anyone seen the toilet paper...? Oh.....
Being the responsible citizens that we are we leave no trace
Leaving this for the locals to interpret
Ok bye....
Leaving the volcano we get a beautiful glimpse of Simi Valley.
She got it from "Tripping on a Rock"
Two miles back Holly finds the dwarf who was selling cigarettes and fresh fruit.
No more gas... We head back home to family, friends and an uncertain future...

Now for the long dark ride back to GIGSVILLE

Lopez was never found...
The naked pictures of the women on the tractors were not included.

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